Till The Sun Rises
by OhSnapItzCat
Summary: I didn't believe in love. I didn't expect to fall in love either. But I did. And I couldn't believe, out of all the people in the world, I fell in love with him, Jace Herondale.
1. Second Chances

**Chapter 1: Second Chances**

"How do I live? How do I breathe?  
When you're not here I'm suffocating  
I want to feel love, run through my blood  
Tell me is this where I give it all up?  
For you I have to risk it all  
Cause the writing's on the wall"- Sam Smith  
Note: _I am somewhat new to this, so characters might be OOC, but give it a shot and let me know what you think._

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

The news always said how the roads were dangerous when there was a snowstorm in New York. But it was always different when it came to the city.

Every tree shined with yellow Christmas lights and bows. There was just as many fat Santa's on every street as there were Starbucks, and the wind only made the city much colder.

I perfected my false smile as I handed a couple my sketch of them, charging them only ten because it was a holiday after all.

Central Park was still crowded with tourist even though it was Christmas Eve. I glanced at the time and saw my screen blink 10:52 pm. Great. I swiftly packed my art supplies and head off back to my apartment.

My fingers started freezing as I held onto my sketchpad, bringing it closer to my chest. I should've had a cover but I didn't think it would snow till now.

The crowded streets only made it more difficult to get through, I know I'm small but constantly being shoved could piss anyone off.

I rearranged my bags position once more and I suddenly got shoved so hard onto another person that their burning cup of coffee fell all over my hands. I dropped to my knees and let my sketchpad fall beside me, ruined.

I was so close to losing it, ready to threaten the person who pushed me into someone else.

"Don't you watch where the fuck you're going?"

I immediately froze. I knew that voice so well. I prayed to every god out there for him to just continue walking. I dropped my head and hid behind my curls.

Reaching for my sketchpad and ripping papers out to dry my burning, shaking hands. I can feel his eyes on me and I watch from the corner of my eyes, him kneeling in front of me.

"Shit! I forgot how hot my coffee was. Here," I glanced up and saw him offer napkins. Just as I take it, I can hear his intake of breath.

Muttering a quick 'thanks', patting down the liquid off my hands before I grab everything and get up to throw it in the trash.

I found it ironic how it became less crowded all of a sudden. I didn't bother to look back as I immediately started walking straight towards my block before-

"Clary wait!" Shutting my eyes, I stop and wait. "What?"

He rushes to my side, his brows knit together, "I actually came here to find you. I want to talk", I hear him say. I roll my eyes and start walking again once I say, "I'm sure you did."

I stop again, not because I choose to, but because his warm hand had a hold of my arm, "Jace, let go."

"I'm serious. I just came from your apartment, you can ask your doorman if need be. I just- can we, can we just talk? Please." His voice strained. It took all my willpower to just continue walking, but my eyes ended up focusing on him, and I knew there was no way I could say no.

Taking a deep sigh, I nod and lead us to my apartment.

* * *

The elevator was just as awkward as the walk here. Not because of him suddenly coming back, but because of all the stupid memories we had in here. Like his curious eyes constantly roaming me, the way he held me when it was crowded and oh, when we were alone in the elevator, he always had me pinned against the wall. We were never in this elevator NOT touching each other. And that just made everything harder.

"You owe me a new sketch pad", I mutter as we walk out onto my floor. I hesitate as I unlock my door, my hand freezing at the door knob. I can feel his eyes on me as I press my head against my door.

I set my gaze onto the floor as I swallow a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I-I can't do this. I'm sorry I brought you here. You should go."

My hand twisted the knob and I got in as quickly as I could, but of course his hand caught it before I got the chance to close it. "CLARY! Please. Just please."

I hate him. I hate him, and his voice, and what his voice does to me when he says my name like that.

I stand back and let the door swing open, my eyes staying firmly on the floor. I can feel my eyes water when I realize that we're going to do this. It's as if I just suddenly realize how real this all is, that it's just me and him alone now in this apartment.

As the door clicks, it's become official of how this talk is finally going to happen. I feel goosebumps crawl up my skin even though my apartment is somewhat warm. The longer he stays the silent, the greater the urge I have to throw something at him.

One, two, three minutes pass by and I can't take it anymore. I finally look up at him with a livid expression. My lashes wet from the tears I've held, "Well. Are you going to even talk?" I can feel my hands ball into a fist.

His hand drops from his forehead as his eyes take me in. I watch his golden iris' grow, grow into a pool filled with sorrow. He clears his throat and his brows knit together. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did. I didn't mean to hurt you-"

I scoffed and shook my head, I didn't mean to interrupt him, but it just wasn't right. "You didn't mean to? JACE, you could've fucking called, texted, left a goddamn letter for all I care. YOU LEFT ME. You said you were just getting milk. MILK of all the damn things to get! You did NOTHING! NOTHING!"

I can feel my cheeks become soaked, my voice hoarse from all the sudden screaming, "Do you know how worried I was? How I thought you were robbed, kidnapped, or killed. I called the cops Jace. Do you know how stupid I looked, not just to them but to all our friends, Jace? Huh? Do you? Do you know how stupid I felt? I thought you were HURT. I THOUGHT the worst for days! DAYS. And you're sorry?"

He reached for the hand I had pointing at him, but I just pulled my arm away. "NO! You don't get to touch me, I shouldn't even have let you in."

"Clary, just let me explain", he pleads again. Frustration and remorse is all I can read on his face. I remembered when we first met, how he never showed any other emotion except arrogance. And slowly, the longer we stayed together, the more he allowed his walls to fall. And through the five years of our relationship, I knew everything about him. We read each other without any intentions of staying this long.

I just shake my head and look him dead in the eyes. No matter how blurry my visions was, I managed to hold our gaze. "How am I supposed to forgive you Jace?" I ask calmly. I can feel my body shaking now, "You ask me to marry you and you just leave the next day? You don't contact me for a whole four weeks. I had to find out through Magnus that you intentionally left!"

I can feel my tense shoulders drop, my throat completely hoarse as I whisper, "What did I do? What did I do to make you leave me? Did you realize I wasn't good enough? That you made a mistake? What did I do to make you go?"

"Oh, no Clary. That's not- it wasn't. It wasn't your fault. This was because of me. You did nothing, and I mean nothing wrong. I-I'm sorry I made you feel like this. "

I didn't realize I was looking at the floor until his warm fingertips brought my chin up. I didn't have it in me to push him away anymore. "This isn't your fault Clary. Don't ever consider yourself to not be good enough. This was MY mistake." I watch his hand fall back to his sides, sighing with a tight jaw.

"I did get milk. It's just. When I went to get it, I bumped into so many couples fighting, and then kids. I just got scared Clary. I- You make me so happy. The happiest I've ever been. And I love you so much. So yeah, I thought maybe I did make a mistake, I was thinking we've been so happy that what if once we married we became like those couples."

"The kind that constantly fights over little things or barely have time for each other. I realized we never even labeled what we had. HAVE."

I feel my own breathing stagger as he continues, "You know my parents nor my own step parents succeeded in marriage. And yes, I know I should've told you. I should've. You have every right to be angry at me and be upset. But when I saw how happy you were when I asked you. I knew I just couldn't take it back. "

His calloused hands cradle my face, his eyes scanning my whole face, "I'm stupid. Leaving you was the worst mistake I ever made. The way I handled it was stupid, and I never, NEVER, wanted to hurt you." His thumbs brush against my wet cheeks, and I froze at his warmth.

"I debated everyday about coming back. I just kept thinking how mad you'd be and I was scared to come back too. Next thing I realized was that three weeks had passed. I'm a coward Clary. Every day I thought about you. How upset, angry you would be. And I kept thinking what would you have done. I realized that I should've told you how I felt. I shouldn't have left the way I did, that I should've had more faith in us and in what we had together. And I do." He purses his beautiful lips.

"I know you can't forgive me. I know that you won't let me stay. But now, I want to try. I want to get you back. I know it's been hell for you these past weeks too. I want to make it up to you if you give me the chance. I've been so shitty. So terrible to have done this to you. Ask me whatever you want, I promise I'll tell you whatever you want to know." His hands drop from my face as he gives me a soft look, one close to a puppy looking for forgiveness.

How am I supposed to respond to all that? Sure i'm not going to forgive him that easily, but he's been by my side for five years. I've felt so numb, cold since he left. I want him, even my own body can sense how close he is to me.

I don't know how to do that without giving in to him so easily. I want him to know how much it hurt, how much I cried over him. But I need him. Before I can even process it longer, he interjects, "I'll gladly get on my knees if you want me to. I'll do this outside too. Throw whatever you can get your hands on at me, coffee perhaps?"

His idiotic gibberish made me smile softly, but I stopped myself. "Jace."

He drops his small smile by my tone, his face twisting into a very serious one. Giving me a nod, I continue forward. "What you did.. Look, I understand where you're coming from. I do, but like you said, you should've came to me, talked to me."

I walked closer, my confidence coming back. I don't dare to touch him, but just look up into his honey molten eyes. "I want you to know that what you did hurt. That it's something I don't think it will be able to be fixed for a while. I-I'm going to need time. And i'm telling you now, I can't forgive you easily, I shouldn't." I bit my bottom lip, watching him twitch before I continued.

"This tore me apart Jace, so if you really want to continue this," my hand gestured between me and him as my brows knit together, "then you'll have to be prepared that I won't reciprocate a lot of things, that I'm not going to make it easy on you. That I will be afraid of you. Not in the way it sounds, but in the meaning of trust. Do you… Do you think you'll be able to handle that?"

It only takes him a second to respond before his head nods vigorously, "I can. I'll take whatever I can get if it means giving me a second chance. I promise that I won't take this for granted. I will make it up to you and i'll respect your space. I'm just- thank you. Thank you for this second chance. I'm going to assure you that you'll never regret this decision."

I swallow as he leans down to kiss the top of my head, whispering "thank you." Before he pulls away to leave, I couldn't help but blurt out, "Would you want to stay?"

I can see that it caught i'm off guard, his lips parted and his eyes wide. "Just for a bit I mean. If you can, I know it's Christmas and all. So you would want to be with your family and.. Um, actually never mind. Your mom would kill me if -"

"Hey." He interjects with a light chuckle and a smile, his hands on my shoulder's. "I'd be happy to stay." I internally kicked myself at how quickly I lost my cool.

* * *

Our jackets were hung loosely on the back of the wooden chairs around the dining room table. The apartment was filled with soft christmas music from the radio as I passed him a mug containing his not so dark coffee. "Thanks, are you sure you don't need any help cooking?" he asks as he blows against the drink.

I shake my head and sit on the other side of my couch, tucking my legs in "I'm sure. I hope you're fine with just chicken and vegetables, I didn't really expect um…" I drifted.

I can almost see the wheels rolling in his mind. How did I end up alone this Christmas. Simon and Isabelle hit it off when I introduced them a year after Jace and I met. So there was a high possibility he would spend the holiday with the Lightwoods. Ever since Jace left, his family kept a great distance from me.

My own mom didn't invite me as well, but I can only assume she's spending Christmas with her own boyfriend and his family while my brother sits in jail.

My hard concentration on my mug broke when Jace cleared his throat, "I'm sure whatever you make would be fulfilling. And don't worry, I will pay back the pad I ruined. What were you doing with it outside anyways?" He places his empty mug on the tabletop, settling deeper into the couch as he gives me his undivided attention.

I scrunch my nose at figuring out how I would explain it, "Well, way before you moved in, drawing couples was how I managed to get by. I guess when you left, I wasn't sure if you were going to pay your part of the month's rent. But then you did, and I guess I just continued it to keep myself busy really."

"Will you ever show me a drawing of us?", I slightly choke on my own coffee when he asked.

I've always been fine with sharing my drawings to people, especially since it's them. But I've never really drew us. A lot of my private drawings were only of him.

Sighing, I play with my fingers and glance back up to him. " I've never really drew myself", I say honestly. His eyes widen as his brows knit together. Before I even continued, he's up off the couch, roaming through my cabinets.

"Jace. What are yo-"

"I know it's in here somewhere." He mutters, his hands moving fast, then he's off down the hallway. I can hear the creak of the closet open. As I was about to get up, he comes back with a book, a pencil, and the hallway mirror. "Draw."

* * *

I feel my body shake as I laugh, my cheeks burning from smiling so hard. As it dies down I shake my head and look at him. His smile matching my own.

But then I stop, and he catches on too. I shouldn't do this, we shouldn't be doing this. "Jace, what are we doing?"

I watch his shoulders slightly drop, putting his empty plate down on the living room table. I do the same and reach for my glass, taking a quick sip as I let my mentality fall back into reality. "We're trying", he says.

I shake my head and tuck my curls behind my ears, "It's too soon." I bring my leg up and lay my chin onto it. I know I agreed to give him a second chance. But I feel like I need to know more before I can continue on and try.

"Did you sleep with anyone when you were gone?" I ask bluntly, my eyes trained on his stubble beard. The thing i've learned about Jace was that he was always honest. To every dumb, hurtful thing he's ever done, he was always truthful. He himself even said that in the past, " _I am an asshole, that's clear. But a liar I am not"_.

When I hear him clear his throat, I immediately knew I wasn't going to like his answer. "No. But-", he heaves and scratches the back of his neck. "A week after I left, I did go out. I thought maybe, what we had was easy. I tried to see if I could-"

"Replace me", I cut him off angrily.

It took only a few seconds before he says no, "I don't really know how to explain it. I didn't want to replace you, nor would I. I just thought.. I guess I just wanted to keep my mind off you. Distract myself. I got completely wasted and ended up dancing with a red head. I was with Izzy and Alec, they can testify to that.."

"She ended up kissing me, but I immediately pushed her away. That moment Clary, I swear I felt even worse. I hated myself for letting it get that far and I still do." His leg is bouncing, his voice filled with regret. When he looks at me, his golden eyes widen and I see his hand hesitate to touch me.

Five minutes pass, then ten. And all I can do is avoid his gaze. It's amazing how i'm feeling all of this over again, anger, sadness, scared, but most importantly disappointed.

"Clary, please say something", his leg still shakes but now he's sitting up, moving closer to me.

"There's nothing left to say Jace. Sure i'm upset, angry even, but it doesn't even matter." I lift my head but bring up my other leg just so I can hug them.

"What do you mean?" he ask.

"I don't have a right to be upset. You were right, we never committed or defined what we had before your proposal. And when you left, that basically took back what you asked. So technically, we were nothing, we are nothing." I whispered unintentionally.

His face was furious when I peered at him through my lashes. "We're not nothing Clary. We're anything but that."

I scoffed, shaking my own head as my curls untuck themselves from my ears, "Oh, and what is that exactly? Friends with benefits that became roommates?"

"You know we're more than that!", his anger took me by surprise. His elbows were on his knees as his hands tugged at his golden locks. Running his hands through his hair, his hand forming to a fist and the other cups over it as his chin leans on top.

He's much closer than he was before, his face only inches away from mine, "You were always much more to me than that." I wouldn't lie if someone were to ask me if I honestly fell for that. Because I did. It wasn't a statement to fall for, it was a truth that managed to make my stomach swell with butterflies like before.

I let out a shaky breath and burry my face into my knees. This was just too complicated. So someone kissed him, that's okay because we weren't together, right? And either way, he didn't kiss her. But still that wasn't an excuse to why he left.

He came back.

He's never hurt me before. Sure he saw other people at the beginning of whatever we had, but it ceased a month after we started sleeping with each other on a weekly basis. I didn't loose anything, he still managed to pay his part of the bill too.

And I know I want him, I really do. I felt as if I were suffocating the whole time he was gone. I guess my mind still hasn't changed. I pull back from my knees and glance at the table to the picture I managed to draw of him holding the mirror smiling like an idiot, while my reflection is on the mirror. We got along as if the whole events of that month didn't happen.

I turn sideways, leaning my cheek against my kneecaps and I just take him in.

God, he looks so good. His calloused hands look even bigger. His body still looks fit in his long black v-neck. And I can almost remember every time he held me. I think that's what I've missed the most besides his warm looks and running my hands through his soft hair.

I bite my lip and sniffle as I finally meet his eyes. Shit, how long have I dazed off? I glance at the clock, and it's already 2:45 am.

"Merry Christmas, Jace." I say when I turn back to him. He gives me a small smile, only the left side of his lips lifting with a nod, "Merry Christmas, Clary."

We stay silent for a while. I chew the inside of my lip and keep my eyes on his chest because, well I don't know what else to say. It's been a long day, I'm tired but I don't want him to go as well. But I know he would have to leave eventually.

I want him to hold me. I've genuinely missed him. But I keep reminding myself that I can't make this easy for him. I don't want to be that kind of girl that instantly takes back a guy after his mistake only to repeat it over and over again?

"I do want this to work. Us." I clear my throat and see him shift as his head tilts to the side, "why do I hear a 'but' coming along with that sentence?"

I bit my lip and nestled my chin against my shoulder, whispering "is it wrong if I tell you I want you to hold me?" By the look on his face, I can tell that my words caught him of guard.

"I don't think it's wrong to want that", he tells me. He sits back against the couch and opens his arms wide, "C'mere." The bottom of my lip is still caught between my teeth and shake my head. When I don't move, he just slides closer. His face lowering to mine.

"I know you don't want to be easy on me, but I can see how badly you want this. Let me hold you, I owe you that and much more Red. I'm going to do everything I can under your conditions." It's been so long since he called me Red. Even the way he spoke was so understanding and endearing.

I hesitated before I slowly crawled into his lap, "Just until the morning okay? After that, we're going to have to start over." He took me gracefully in his arms, my face automatically burying in his neck as his arms snake around my body, giving me a soft squeeze. Their was a faint smell of his Bleu de Chanel cologne mixed with his own home scent.

His skin was hot, but it felt so damn good against my forehead. His body immediately brought me into a haze of nostalgia.

"Just until the morning", he confirmed through a murmur. I slowly felt myself fade into sleep with his lips constantly kissing my head.

* * *

 **AN:/ So here is the start of something that just popped into my head. Reviews would be great in which could help me lead to other ideas. What i'm working on now is how they were as a couple through the past five years. Let me know what you enjoyed, if you did enjoy it I mean. Was there more information I could've focused on, was there anything specific you wanted more of, etc. I could've worked on this more, t's a bit rushed if you could tell, but I really wanted it out by Christmas. This has a little of the good and bad Clace.**

 **Recommendation of the Day: Author - SereneCalamity  
She's written a lot of Clace stories and one shots which are VERY interesting, check her out.**

 **MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
** **-Ciao, Cait .**


	2. Cups of Coffee

**Chapter 2: Cups of Coffee**

"I'll wait, I'll wait  
I love you like you've never felt the pain,  
I promise you don't have to be afraid,  
The love is here and here to stay,  
So lay your head on me.  
Little do you know  
I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep,  
All my mistakes are slowly drowning me,  
I'm trying to make it better piece by piece.  
Little do you know,  
I love you 'til the sun dies" - Alex & Sierra

* * *

 _ **Clarys POV - 5 Years Ago [2010]**_

 _I can feel his hands clutch me tight as our bodies grind against each other on the dark, hot, dance floor._

 _Sure, I had a couple of drinks but I'm not wasted._

 _My hand ran back up behind his neck and I can feel his face burry into my own. His blonde curls are soft under my touch, and as the bass pumps louder, I grind my ass against him teasingly rough._

 _Hearing him growl against my ear only turns me on. I'm glad for the crowded, dark club because I'm pretty sure I gasped loudly when he started nipping my neck._

 _"You're leaving with me tonight " I hear him say huskily._

 _Turning around in his arms, I smirked at the golden man and slightly tip toed to crash our lips._

 _I can't deny it, he's the hottest man in this club. And hell, he was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He was just as golden as the Greek gods, his eyes, skin, hair, all gold._

 _The way he lead my body to dip perfectly, held me, kissed me was enough to have my head spinning._

 _The bass to Down On Me only grew louder, and the deepness of our kiss caused goosebumps throughout my body._

 _I can feel his lips curve into a smirk and I inwardly groan as he bites my bottom lip._

* * *

 **Jace POV - Present [2015]**

I didn't realize my parents place was crowded when I entered. I blinked at their sleeping bodies laid all over the living room floor.

"JACEEEE!" I hear, and Max is suddenly on my back. "Max." I laugh as I still hold the box carefully in my arms. "You didn't come last night so we opened presents without you. Only mom's here but she stayed in her office all night … What's that?" he asks as he slides off me.

I pursed my lips as I walk over to the table quietly since Izzy, Alec, Simon, and Magnus are still asleep, "It's a gift from Clary."

"You finally went huh? I knew you wouldn't have missed out on Christmas without a perfectly good reason. So.. what's in it?"

"Well.." I trailed off. I remembered never taking my eyes off her since she fell asleep. Brushing the scarlet baby hairs on her temple as I thought about the hours before. The pain in her eyes was something I wasn't able to handle. I don't think I could ever forget them.

I just knew that I was going to make damn sure I would never hurt her like that again. I was thankful for this second chance and I don't plan on wasting it, I will never take her for granted. She weighed less than I remembered, or maybe it's just been that long.

When she woke up, we stayed in that position and talked for a while. But by 9, her doorbell rang and her eyes went wide as she muttered 'shit', "Clary hired a guy in a Santa suit to deliver it as a joke. She forgot about it and apparently had this gift delivery planned 3 months ago", I told Max as I recalled the events of how it completely caught me off guard.

"NO FUCKING WAY! Dude! This is all new." I nod with astonishment to Max's words as I took out all the MMA training gear, revealing at the bottom of the box a new suitcase. Fuck. I didn't think she would've gotten me all of this.

I swallowed back the vile of saliva down my throat. It wasn't that the gift disgusted me or anything. I just hated myself more every time I looked at it. I don't deserve this.

The things she got me had summed me up to a perfect T. It's not just things that I've wanted, but things that I needed. And knowing that she planned this ahead of time just makes me feel guilty as fuck.

I watched Max remove the suitcase out of the box, regretting that I didn't give her anything in return. I turned around when I heard Simon groan awake, "You guys do know you suck at keep your voices down, right?"

As I opened my mouth to retort back, Max let's out a whistle, "Jace, she even stuffed the suitcase!" My eyes widen as I turned the open suitcase towards my direction. "You don't deserve her you know", Simon says beside me as he rubs the dust off his eyelids and slides his glasses on.

I hated how I couldn't help but tighten my jaw at his statement, the rat boy was absolutely right. I don't.

* * *

 _ **Jace's POV - 5 Years Ago [2010]**_

 _I heard my sheets ruffle and felt them tug and move. I open my eyes to see a redhead looking under my sheets. Leaning onto my side, I place my head into my palm and slightly cough, "Need some help there?"_

 _Her face was priceless, her eyes were as wide as a deer caught in highlights. I watched her tug her bottom lip between her teeth. I let my eyes roam and realized she's already dressed and her face was just clear. Clear, freshly washed._

 _I've woken up to many girls with owl eyes, or washed but clearly added more makeup or something. And no offense to girls, but when that shit gets on my sheets, it's pretty hard to wash. Which is why I rarely brought girls home._

" _Sorry I just couldn't find something, but I think i'll be fine without it. I didn't mean to wake you." She said as she tucked her hair, slowly standing up. She was still in her short skirt and top when she bent over to get her purse._

 _I quickly tugged on boxers, getting up fast. "Leaving so soon Red?" I ask, with a face like hers, I don't think no guy would let her leave, especially dressed like that. I mean, she was fucking hot even without that makeup shit on._

" _Not everyone has the pleasure to sleep in", she said leaning against the door frame. I raise my brow and give her my infamous smirk that swoons every girl off their feet. My hands plant themselves on her waist as I pin her against the wall. I bend and start placing kisses on her bare shoulder, my eyes peering up to her closed ones._

 _Kissing my way up her neckline, I whisper in her ear "C'mon. Stay, just a little bit longer." I nibbled her ear, recalling that she was weakened by it, "Please Clary?"_

 _I can tell she was surprised that I remembered her name by the way she let out a soft gasp when I said it. I kissed up her jawline, taking my time to get to her lips. Fuck they were soft. Before I get the chance to deepen the kiss, she slowly pulls away, her head leaning back._

Her green eyes were so bright as she stared up at me, giving me a sheepish yet apologetic smile, "Sorry, but I can't skip out on college. I'm already late as it is."

 _Sexy with a goal of a degree. Damn. I let my arms drop because I respect her honesty. "Do you want to at least borrow a sweater?" I say, and we oddly glanced at the window at the same time._

 _Her lips turn up to a smirk, "You just want to give me a reason to see you again don't you?" I shrug, I'm not really sure why I offered, but I would assume no girl would want to go to class with yesterday's clothes._

 _Going to my cabinet to grab one of my rarely used sweaters, I spot something dark from the corner of my eye. Once I grab a sweater, I reach over at the item and smirk, turning back around to her._

" _Was this the thing you were looking for?", I asked as a dark red thong hung from my fingers._

 _Clary's pale cheeks turned bright pink as she reached for it, giving me a cheeky smile before slipping it on._

 _She was planning to leave without underwear. Fuck, she's so tempting._

" _Thank you again, I guess I'll see you around", with that said, she tiptoed and kissed the side of my neck. Not what I was expecting, but I definitely didn't complain._

" _Bye Jace."_

* * *

 **Present [2015]**

Jace was perched on the couch, his elbows against his knees - which was bouncing hastily - with his thumbs writing texts to Clary, but then instantly erasing it over and over again.

"Just send it already", Isabelle said as she placed a cup of hot chocolate in front of him. He just muttered a thanks as he reached for it and took a sip, his eye never leaving his screen. Suddenly, an awful choking noise escapes his throat and he's spitting it back into the cup, his phone tossed to the side.

"What the fuck Iz! I thought Magnus was making the hot chocolates" Jace exclaimed, his face contorted as he glanced at Isabelle and back into the cup.

The dark haired fashionista rolled her eyes as she looked at her nails, "well he's busy in Alec's room doing God knows what. I just thought I was doing everyone a favor by doing it myself." Taking a big gulp from her own cup, she said "I don't get what's wrong with it."

Jace snorted and looked at her as if she were crazy, "As you can see, i'm trying to get Clary back. Killing me now isn't doing me a favor." He placed the cup back on the living room table. "Besides, how can you fuck up with hot chocolate? You had one job Izzy. All you had do is follow the damn directions on the back. Warm milk and put in the mix. Whatever you made could bring Frankenstein back to life and want to die .. again" Jace muttered.

"Oh, Fuck You Jace!"

"Yeah, no thanks. That would be disgusting, besides, the world already has-", Jace never got to finish his sentence as Isabelle watched his face turn from confident to … scared?

"I have to take this." And just like that, he left.

He swiped his phone to accept the call, the call he wasn't expecting so soon. He wanted to say so much, he wanted to tell her everything that he had typed, everything that he forgot to say on their first encounter back, but all he could breathe out was "Clary".

* * *

 **Clary's POV Present Day - 4 days later - December 29, 2015**

My stomach fluttered when I caught a glimpse of Jace sitting at a booth. It's as if he doesn't even have to look at me to make me feel like this. I can't help but realize he's wearing the black v-neck sweater that i've gotten him a while ago. He knows how much I like to see him wearing it. He looks casually sexy in it.

Well, he looks hot in mostly anything really. Agh, subtle Clary, subtle.

"Excuse me, are you going in or not?", some blonde asked behind me. "Yeah, sorry", I muttered and opened the door to the café. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, to have this conversation in public. There were some things that I forgot to mention to him, things that might change his mind about me.

"Clary!" His own bright grin made me smile just as wide, I nodded and headed over to his booth. He was standing, his posture unsure of how to greet me, but I was pretty unsure as well. Oh, fuck it.

I went in for the hug, and he chuckled under my touch. His own arms tight and firm around me. I can feel a chill crawl up my spine when I felt his breath tickle my ear. His hands stayed just a bit longer on me after my hands dropped.

I can smell the scent of his moroccan myrrh shaving cream mixed with his cologne as we pulled away. Taking a seat across from him, he hands me a cup that smells oh so heavenly. "Thanks, you didn't have to".

He shrugged, the ends of his lips slightly corked into a half smile, "I wanted to. Besides, it's cold outside and your cheeks are flushed."

I pursed my lips and felt my cheeks, sure they were cold, but I could guess that they just turned darker shade from that comment. I gladly drank the hot cup of coffee, a satisfied noise slipping.

His hand ran through his blonde curls as he coughed, "Look Clary. Thanks for the gift. You really didn't have to get me all that. I don't deserve those g-"

I shook my head, "Don't worry about it. They still belonged to you regardless of what had happened". He bit his own lip, and I sighed, I know he's holding back. This shouldn't be awkward, but I guess, I expected it to get more awkward towards what I came here to tell him and not this fast.

"I'm sorry, this wasn't how I wanted our reunion to go", he said as his hand reached for my own. My eyes widen as I looked at our hands, I mean i'm not complaining, his hands are absolutely warm. But, it's just still too soon right?

"The gift was perfect Clary. Thank you. I've been wanting to talk to you since Christmas, but I didn't know how much space you needed." I unconsciously bit the corner of my lip and nodded for him to continue.

"I want you back. I've miss you, a lot. Everything about you. Your paint splattered face, your unbelievable times of hunger, you singing when you make your special pancakes, your sarcastic remarks, your laugh, your lips. Everything."

"When I was trying to text you, I was unsure of how to say what I wanted to say. I was unsure if I should cry or smile because of this second chance. I was unsure if you wanted to go back to the way we were before .. I- ... this whole ordeal." He stops. I can tell he avoided the word proposal.

"I want us to be US again."

I stayed silent and replayed his words. He wants to be us again. To just two people who was together without a label.

That's.. that's just not enough.

Sighing, I looked back up to his golden worried gaze and slightly coughed. Well, I guess it's time to break my news to him.

"Jace, I -", his brows knit together and he immediately sat straight up. I can tell his leg is shaking under the table as he gives me his full attention.

This was scarier than I thought. I glanced down and gulped, "Look. When you left, I felt hurt even though for some reasons I shouldn't have felt hurt. You leaving made me realize that I was done fooling around. What we had was nice Jace, but we got close. Closer than we should have. And whatever we had didn't have a label. That's the problem."

I looked back at up to him, my once hot coffee no longer showed steam. "I wanted more Jace, I want more. Someone to call me theirs and them mine. Someone that I know wouldn't see other people because they're happy with just being with me and only me. You kissing someone else made me angry, but yet I had no right to be."

His gaze was deep and his posture didn't change, his leg did stop shaking however, but the way he looked at me, his golden eyes were more intense.

"When you left, I promised myself to never have what we had. To have something good for myself, someone. Commitment, official. I-", again he reaches for my hand, catching me off guard.

"Jace.."

He licks his lips before he speaks, "Clary. I get it, I do. And I'm will to do that, be the guy you need. I've never been in an official relationship before, nor gave commitment to someone. But I can promise you I won't see anyone else, kiss anyone else but you. I want to be with you."

His lips curled into a gentle smile, the kind that makes you want to hug something warm and tight and know it's going to be alright.

"I want to be all yours and you all mine. I want you."

Fuck.

Fuckity, fuck fuck.

For the third time today, I sighed heavily and shook my head. Slowly putting my hand away and sitting as far back as I can. It's now or never.

"You left. I waited and waited and waited. Since Magnus told me you didn't want to talk to me, I was sure that was it. That, that was the end of us." I can see the wheels turning in his head as he understands my words.

I looked at him sternly, no emotion, no regret, "A week before you saw me, I made a decision and started seeing someone."

I can tell he's angry, his white firm knuckles say it all against the brown coffee table. His beautiful jaw tightened and his lips are pursed in a firm line. My throat sudden feels dry as I continue on, "It's all knew, a fresh start. We both went in wanting something serious-".

"So you've moved on. That's why you said we needed to talk because you already have someone else", he cut me off bluntly. His face was filled with anger now, he didn't bother to hide his expressions. But I couldn't continue with him being angry. It wasn't that I was scared or anything, it's just .. I felt guilty. "You replaced me", was all he said.

I shook my head no, "I needed a distraction, a fresh start from that horrible night. I know what you're thinking, how could I move on so fast. But could you blame me? I just wanted to feel wanted, needed. I was depressed for three weeks. Three weeks of feeling nothing but numbness. If Simon didn't come over everyday I don't think I would've eaten anything at all."

My voice was hoarse, I struggled to speak without wanting to draw too much attention to us, "You broke me Jace. And I hated that. You weren't even mine and I gave you the power to break me so easily. That's why I tried to move on. I needed you out of my head because there was no point in even thinking that we could fix us. And don't say I didn't try. I called Jace. I tried."

I didn't notice the cup of coffee in my hands, the still warm cup was enough to soothe me in the busy cafe. Minutes passed as we stayed silent. Now he knew. He wasn't angry anymore, but he managed to do that thing with his face. Hiding I mean. Completely expressionless and difficult to read.

I just cradled the cup and sat further back into the booth. My own lips can't help but quirk into a small smile when I down the liquid. I shouldn't be smiling in a time like this. But, just drinking this as I sit here brings me into a haze of nostalgia. It brings me back to when it became my favorite kind of coffee.

 _My mahogany colored fingernails drummed against the marbled counter as we sat and waited for the water to boil. I watched as he reached open my cabinets and reached for the mugs. He chuckles as he places them right beside me, the beautiful sound was soft and deep, "I think your mug collection is one of a kind."_

" _You know you like it, you always pick the same mug for your coffee anyway", I stick my tongue out as I refer to the mug with the cat holding up it's middle fingers saying 'I do what I want'. Just as I was about to hop off the counter, he leaves his hand up and fetches the instant coffee, sugar and milk._

 _I enjoy the tightening of his bare muscles as he carries all three items back, placing them beside the mugs. Nodding, I mutter a thank you and twist the top of the glass jar and measure out our preference of coffee powder._

 _Goosebumps crawl up my leg as his hands slide up and down my thighs. I turn my head to retort at his grabby hands but his eyes are fixated on my own hands. "You look VERY concentrated. Almost as if we are diffusing a bomb. Would you like to make the coffee?", I snickered._

 _Jace chuckled but actually nod. To my surprise, his hands slid off my thighs and took control of the coffee making. I mean, I never took it seriously but, he was very into making mine. Just in time, the kettle whistles and he pours " and viola", he says proudly. Handing me the mug, I took it questionably as his eyes fixate on me._

" _You didn't poison this, did you?" I joke, watching him take a sip of his own. "No, I just hope I made it right", he said with excitement fixated in his eye._

 _Personally I love my coffee black, however I didn't have the heart to tell him. My mug wasn't too light, there was milk in it, but I didn't really mind._

 _Taking a sip, it wasn't bad at all really. It's was sweet and warm, a different kind of sweet and warm that I'm used to, but I can't complain._

" _So? Did I get it right?" He asked, his mug was back down on the counter, completely empty. His smile was wide as he looked up at me. I couldn't tell him that's not how I make it._

 _However this is something I'm okay with drinking, "It's actually better than I thought it would be. Not bad Herondale, not bad at all." I snicker as he comes back between my legs, lips quirked to a grin as he whispers on my lips, "I knew it."_

"I still have a chance", he muttered softly, breaking me out of my flashback. My eyes narrowed at his words, unsure if I heard what I think I heard, "What?"

"I still have a chance", he said more firmly. My lips parted and he spoke before I got the chance to, "You said you _tried to move on_. You're still not over me … are you?"

I gulped unconsciously and looked back down at my empty cup, am I? My lips were dry and parted as I tried to say yes, but even the lie wouldn't come out so I just let it shut.

His hands ruffle his golden blond curls, letting out a dry cough as he asks, "Is he good to you? The other guy I mean."

I nod and shift in my seat, "Yeah. Yeah he is, he knows about you. And that you stayed the other night too." Jace gave a tight smile as I played with my thumbs, this couldn't get anymore awkward than it is now.

Silence consumes us again.

"I'm going to fight for you" he says. I didn't notice how he made the space between us smaller, leaning on the table as close as he can get. "I know I don't deserve another chance with you, but you're all I think about Clary. I know you're with someone but it's still new and as much as you don't want to admit it, I know you feel the same."

"He treats you right, and I can too, even better. I swear i'll make it worth it Clary."

Before I can process everything he's said, yet alone get a single word out, he grabs his jacket and stands. He kisses my forehead softly and long, I can feel him smile against my skin, "I'll see you soon Red."

Shit. What the hell did I get myself into?

* * *

 **AN:/ I know, where the hell have I been? Well, college is time consuming. However, I think it's best that it takes a while for me to update because its worth 8 to 9 pages per update. So I did read reviews, i'm sorry if I haven't responded, but I did take some things into consideration like throwing in a competition for Jace. And in future chapters I will include more family details through flashbacks. Tell me what you like and what you don't and what you would like to see?**

 **Recommendation of the Day: Author - NewmanYHC  
This author is a good detailed read. Many of the stories are cute Clace and its long which I find lovely. Especially the ****one shots.**

 **PS:** I made an instagram [ohsnapitzcat] page for this story so you can see how I picture these characters if you're interested, and for those who don't have that, there's also a Pinterest page but I have to make it public first. And I know some would think of the tv show Shadowhunters. Like many I think it's OKAY, but I just don't like the script, Clary is more cocky than Jace, and he is more sweet, but I blame the writers. Not the actors. Well maybe Kat McNamara, sometimes. Her(Clary) actions agitate me. Still blame the authors. Also, did anyone try to get their friends to watch it? I found that people who haven't read the series are less likely to watch it... That malec kiss though.

 **\- Ciao, Cait.**


	3. Going Forward

**Chapter 3: Going** **Forward**

"I hope that I can turn back the time  
To make it all alright, all alright for us  
I'll promise to build a new world for us two  
With you in the middle" - DJ Snake

* * *

"Hey Jordan, it's Clary. Call me back when you get the chance? Um ... we need to talk".

* * *

 **The Afternoon of New Year's Eve 2015 No POV**

"So are you going to get back with Jace?", Simon asked as he shuts off his play station. Pulling out his phone, he sends an emoji pizza to domino's and slides it back into his pocket.

He narrows his eyes at Clary's silence, using his pointer finger to push the arch of his glasses higher up his nose, "HELLO. Earth to Clary."

The redhead sighed and leaned her head up against the couch, "I don't know. I mean we've been messing around for so long, but now I'm seeing someone else. I don't know if I should end it with Jordan before we even fully start or if I should just really try and move on from Jace."

Clary brings her knees closer to her chest, one arm hooking around them as the other is bent and her fingers are at her lips as she bites on her nails.

"I'm just scared Si."

Simon got up from the floor and lent a hand to pull her up, nodding to the couch. She took it freely as he sat and she laid a cross it with her head on his lap.

"What happened anyways? I could've sworn you guys left the pre party on good terms on Thanksgiving." Simon asked as he patted Clary's hair, something he's done over the past month to soothe her. He didn't know when she was ready to talk about it.

For three weeks she cried her eyes out. He thought it was stupid, to cry over a boy that was never her boyfriend. But then again, Clary's his best friend, she was tough. It must've been something bad enough to make her cry, let alone to stop her from eating or sleeping.

Clary sighed, looking up at the ceiling, she blinks back some tears before sitting up and twisting around. "Okay. Um, well … if I tell you, promise you won't tell anyone? Not even Isabelle."

Simon's bushy, dark brown brows knit closer together. Could he do that? Keep something from Isabelle? He only started to date her because of Clary. Clary has always been there for him. Unlike her and Jace, Simon took his relationship to the next level just after seeing Isabelle for a few months.

"How serious is this?" he asked. He needed to know, if whatever it was affected her life like harm, then he can't promise to keep it a secret. Silly as it is,

Clary didn't say anything. Instead, she reached behind her neck and unclipped something that looked like a chain.

Her freckled face ached as she handed it to Simon. The chain was simple, but what hung on it was something beyond simple. It was a beautiful peridot wedding ring.

Simon took it curiously, glancing from the stunning green gem and back to Clary's similar colored ones. When he saw her small frown, he tried to put two and two together.

"Did he do what I think he did?"

Clary only nodded and slowly took the necklace from Simon's stretched out hand. Putting it back on and tucking the ring under her shirt, Clary chuckled. "You know, all this time of being with him, I would've never expected it."

She leaned against the couch cushions and hugged one leg, "I was engaged for at least 4 hours Si. Who would've thought that someone actually wanted to marry me?"

Simon stayed silent observing her. He remembered growing up with her and how they didn't want to get married because of the fall out with Simon's divorced parents and Clary's left-beat dad. He remembered how her high school boyfriends cheated on her. Although she only had 3, she promised herself to never get into a relationship again after high school.

When Simon first met Jace, it was by accident. He caught him slipping out of her dorm when he went over for their ritual monster movie night. Simon didn't expect a guy to be in her dorm at all, but then again, Clary was naturally beautiful.

It was after the third time that he caught Clary and Jace to ask about him. After the two year mark, he warned Clary, asked her if she started to have any feelings for him. But no matter how much she denied it, it was written all over her face, she never admitted nor accepted the truth. Always playing it off by saying it was just mutual sex.

"He was mine for 4 hours", she whispered.

Simon took the blanket from the armrest and opened it for her, "he still can be." He stood and wrapped it around her, grabbing the control to switch to cartoons, "As much as I hate Jace right now, you've known each other for so long. And i'm not saying you should get back with him immediately. He did make a mistake, but he did come back."

" Did you guys get more involved than just sex?" Simon asked, he needed to know that if she was going into this it was because there was more and not because of the memories they had during sex or partying. He doesn't mean to intrude, Clary isn't too often liked from girls. As uncomfortable as he was asking the questions, he would be that _girl_ friend that Clary could confide in about this kind of stuff.

"Well," she started, her sock covered toes curled beneath her as she let out a small smile recalling her memory. "Yeah, after his grandma died two years ago. He uh... he started opening up to me. We started to hang out, just to bond and stuff." The redhead scrunched her nose and bit her lip to hold in a giggle, "don't tell him I told you this but uh, ducks aren't his strong suit."

Just as quick as she smiled, it disappeared. Simon was taking this all in, she was fighting it. It being the missing him, the wanting him. And as much as Simon didn't want to admit, he knew she needed him. There's too much history, and his proposal just mindfucked her completely.

"He even took care of me after my abortion." She added quietly.

Simon felt like that was personal, too personal. A memory that belonged to just them. With that said, he knew their messing around was serious without them even going for it to be serious.

"Besides time, what are you afraid of?", he asked.

Clary tugged at her sleeves and slightly hummed against her tight fist that rested against her chin. "That if I finally give in completely ... he'd get what he wanted only to change his mind … and leave … again."

It stung for her to say that. Clary didn't want to be that girl who everyone saw as "over sensitive" or "stupid" for catching feelings. She knew she wasn't supposed to. She wish she was nonchalant about the whole thing really. But when it come to Jace, she lost sight of anything and everything.

Suddenly, Clary's cell filled the silence in the room. She glanced at it only to groan and tossed the phone to Simon's lap, her body falling backwards against the couch. He was going to answer the phone but then saw that not only was Jace calling her, but Jordan was as well.

"You're in deep shit. Lucky for you, I-" Simon cut short as the bell rang, he got up and turned to Clary's questioning look with a goofy grin, "Pizza's here."

* * *

 **Present No POV**

"Hey, Clary. It's Jace … which you probably already knew from the caller ID. Anyway, I was just wondering if you were doing alright?" He sighed and looked up at the ceiling as he laid on the mat of the gym in his parents home.

Jace's fingers fiddled with the sparring gloves Clary got him. Before he met Clary, he was doing MMA but as a side gig since he was a full time student also. Training and fighting was his outlet of stress and something he enjoyed doing.

"I'm free this entire week, and I was wondering if there was any day you were off … or if I could join you on one of your sketching sessions." His body was damp with sweat and was completely sore. He didn't understand why he struggled to have a straightforward message.

He had an idea of what he wanted to say, but as soon as the answering machine started, he lost his train of thought. "So um yeah, call or text me whenever you can." Jace remembered the second time he met Clary. He could've sworn he had gotten her number down before she had left his apartment. But after that one night he never heard from her again.

It was only a month later, when he was fighting in an unofficial MMA tournament in a vacant warehouse, he saw her again. It was right after he punched the shit out of some guy and won overall that her bright green eyes stood out in the crowd. He normally had been sleeping on and off with another girl, Kaelie, after his fights.

But with her on his sight, he was determined to catch her again.

Jace remembered her eyes widen in realization, the curve of her soft red lips curling to an 'o' as he slowly approached her. He remembered how she stood alone in the crowd with hair soaked but a somber smile was plastered on her face.

"Shit", he muttered into the phone. "I miss you." Jace knew he had fucked around too long and got attached to Clary. She was his fix, and now with the drinks and the feelings from the past months, everything in his mind was fucking mixed.

He ended the call with that and just continued to lay there. His father always told him 'to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed'. Wedding bells were just alarms, a wakeup call that left him frustrated. His father was the reason for caution tape wrapping around his heart.

* * *

 **Flashback - [2010] - No POV**

" _Clary", Jace nodded as he walked up in front of her. As she looked up, water dripped from her lashes as she gave a smile so simple, it was beautiful. Her red locks shook as she nodded, "Jace."_

" _Didn't think i'd see you again", he said with his infamous killing smirk,"did you missed me?"_

 _Clary's dark copper brows raised lightly with her hardest attempt, "should I have?" she said with amusement. She wasn't new to the cocky talk, but she didn't mind playing into it as well. Play hard to get, right?_

" _Oh," he places his hand to his bare chest, "how you wound me. I'm pretty sure you left my apartment more than satisfied." The crowd around them was slowly building, things being moved as the warehouse slowly started to shift into a party zone._

" _And so what if I did? I know it's hard for you to believe, but me being here is purely accidental." She said, but her eyes deceived her by roaming over Jace's sweaty, but very toned muscles. She had to admit, watching him fight was pretty hot, and they way he looked at her right as he won gave her goosebumps. He didn't even have to wink at her._

" _Ahem," he fake coughed, smirking as his arms crossed. "Want a picture?"_

 _She rolled her bright emerald eyes but couldn't keep the hold on her smile, "Shut up."_

" _So, why are you here Red?" Jace asked, determined to steal her from whatever reason brought her here. He watched her facial expression change to a semi embarrassed yet nervous look._

" _I was cat sitting and lost it. Last I saw, it came in here."_

 _Jace blinked down at her, her eyes glancing around the slightly dark, crowded room. He had to purse his lips together to hold back from laughing, finding it difficult to believe that cat sitting was a thing._

" _That's … peculiar. I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere. Want some-?" Jace was cut off by the call of his name._

 _Him and Clary turned their heads to the promiscuous blonde beside them. Clary watched intently as she wrapped her arm around Jace's as kissed his cheek. Assuming that they were a thing, she took a step back, to which Jace noticed._

 _He dropped his crossed arms, taking a step back himself as he nodded, "Kaelie."_

 _Kaelie's lips parted slightly in shock at the distance, covering it up quickly, she finally took a full look at Clary. Sizing her up, she narrowed her eyes and smiled, "Are you lost? I believe the homeless shelter is a few more blocks down. Need help getting there?"_

 _Clary looked down at herself, and back to the two blondes. She didn't want to acknowledge how good they looked together. She didn't bother to respond to Kaelie. She had enough of her type to deal with in high school. With a small wave to Jace, she took off in search of the cat._

" _Clary, wait!" she heard Jace shout, but she thanked her small size for being able to loose him in the crowd._

 _There, at the exit of the warehouse was the stupid cat with a dead mouse in its mouth. She sighed in relief as he allowed her to pick him up without much of a fight, "Chairman Meow. Don't you EVER do that to me again."_

 _Tucking the cat and its dead friend into the middle of her sweater, with one last look back, she left the warehouse._

* * *

 **New Year's Day Present [2016]**

5...4..3..2..1

"HAPPY NEW YEAR" shouts filled the Lightwood home.

Family friends hugged and kissed each other as Max and the cousins his age had a grape eating contest.

Jace chuckled and patted Max's hair, kissing his cheek as Max gave a disgusted face trying to pull away. "Don't. Fight. It." Jace said, pulling him into a semi hug-headlock.

"I need to talk to you", Simon butted in. Jace released Max back to his group and followed Simons lead.

Just as soon as they entered into one of the spare rooms, Simon lounged at Jace, punching him square on his perfect jaw.

Jace's golden eyes blazed with fire, furious as he reached up to grab his chin and rub it, "WHAT THE FUCK SIMON!"

But Jace's demeanor was not threatening Simon as it normally would. Usually Simon would've never done something like that, especially to Jace. Him being Isabelle's brother, Clary's love interest, and a pro MMA fighter also factored in to avoiding Jace at all cost.

But at this very moment, Simon was furious. His long, thin fingers were curled into a fist, flat against his sides, "You fucking proposed to her! Are you out of your mind? Do you even know the damage you've caused?"

Jace glared angrily at Simon, his breathing hot and heavy as he responded, "Of course I do! Why the fuck do you think I've been trying to fix this?" The golden boy dropped his hand from his chin, a look of defeat filled his face, "besides, it seems like she already moved on from me."

"Nope", Simon said matter-of-factly. "No matter how hard she tries she can't." Using his fingers to push his glasses back higher, he pointed, "You've ruined any chance she has with any other guy."

Jace refused to look at him as he continued, "She became so damaged that whenever someone even tries to give her something she truly deserves, she has no fucking idea how to respond. Why do you think that is?"

Simon didn't dare wait for him to respond as Jace folded his arms, still avoiding Simon's sight, "Oh wait, it's because _someone_ made a commitment to her and then left within hours of that promise. Took back the intentions and it's meaning, which now makes her second guess everything. Everything that would make her happy."

Jace ignored the pain from his jaw, but his anger towards Simon grew. "As if you've never made a mistake before," Jace snarkily replied. "I know I hurt her. But I am going to fix it."

"You damn will", Simon chipped in.

Jace shook his head to show the misunderstanding, "I've never been more certain of wanting to be with her than I do now. I know I don't deserve her, but I'm willing to sacrifice everything for her."

Simon observed every inch of Jace, no one was ever really able to see him behind the mask. But, he could tell that at this very moment, Jace just let his walls down a few inches. Jace meant every word.

"You thank your lucky stars that her brother doesn't know about this", said Simon. "Wait .. does anyone even know you proposed? Or were you fine with just making her look like the overly obsessed hook-up who made many phone calls the day you left her."

"Max knew. But I -", Jace stumbled for a moment, scratching his neck unsightly, "- I wasn't sure if she wanted people to know what I did."

Simon nodded and heard Isabelle calling his name down the hall. Giving Jace a stern look, he said "don't fuck up. A person can only forgive so many times before they break." And just like that, he left.

"You don't have to tell me twice", Jace muttered to himself. He laid across the spare bed and sighed for the umphteen time that day.

Feeling his phone buzz, he felt instantly better seeing Clary's name pop up on the screen. Pressing play, he settled the phone on his abdomen, her voice filling the spare room through the speakers.

"Hi Jace," she spoke softly, " um, Happy New Year!" He chuckled at her lifeless enthusiasm, hearing the sheets shuffle through the phone before she spoke again. "I'm free Thursday after my sketching session, you could join if you want. I'm planning to be at central park but incase you can't just let me know where you want to meet."

Another few seconds of the sheets ruffling filled the air. "So yeah, let me know when you can …", he heard her sigh, wondering if she was celebrating the holiday at all. "Oh and Jace … I miss you too."

If he wasn't smiling before, he was definitely smiling now.

A small burst of victory exploded in his chest. His arms folded behind his head as he grinned childishly to the ceiling. "I'll be good to you Clary", he said to himself. Closing his eyes, he starts to think of dates and activities that he can surprise her with. And now all he can picture is her adorable smile.

* * *

 **1st NEW YEARS together [5 Years Ago - 2011]**

" _Fucking hell", Jace muttered against her lips, kissing down her jaw to her neck, whispering "I want you so fucking bad right now."_

 _Clary let out a soft sigh, her hands skimming up and down his body as he nibbled on her sensitive spot. They somehow managed to find each other once again. Jace found that, even without having her number, they were bound to be in the same place at the same time. And today he was determined to get her number down._

 _Being outside on the balcony of the apartment did give them some privacy, but not enough. She was pressed against the railing, Jace's arms caging around her. He hated constantly guessing if he should go out on weekends just to see if there would be a possibility of bumping into her. Today was his lucky day._

 _The city grounds were filled with people counting down, but all Jace could focus was Clary's pulse under his lips. The party in the apartment soon joined in with the count down._

 _His hand finally plants firmly on her hips as he kisses his way back to her lips. FIVE, he pulls away just enough to look down at her. FOUR, he catches her eyes flutter open. THREE, the ends of her lips curl to a delicate smile. TWO, Jace's hands releases the railing to cradle both sides of her face. ONE, giving her his infamous smirk, he speaks loud enough for her to hear him, "Happy New Years, Red."_

 _His sensitive hands pulled her face close, crashing his lips onto her own as the crowd on the New York City streets go wild, explosions of confetti shooting out every direction. The cheers, the lights, everything was just noise, all she can focus on was Jace's warm embrace, and his lips stealing every last breath she had._

* * *

 **AN:/ Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I realized I enjoy writing memories from the past to help you see how Clary and Jace developed, the next chapter will be mainly of the past. Please, please, please review. Wether it is good or bad, I really would like to add what you are interested in into the chapters and what you like and dislike. Reviews show me that you do want me to continue with this story. Thank you for reading and have a great week everyone!**

 **Recommendation of The Day: Author - Mina Lisly**  
Her stories are always action packed and the not so typical romance of Clace. Her Clary is majority of the time a leading lady, and the stories are cute, painful, and funny! Give it a shot.

 **\- Ciao, Cait.**


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